I hope you are all well. It's been some time since I last wrote and I have actually tried to write this post twice already but struggled to finish it and to know how to update you. As you can probably imagine a lot has happened in the last few weeks and so it's tricky to summarise in just a short post, but I feel this is well overdue now and so I will do my best to give you the details and answers to prayer,
I think I might start at the end! With the news that the tumour was not cancerous, that the surgeon is fairly certain that they removed the whole of it and that we can begin to live normally again! Praise God! Thank you all for your ongoing prayers and support! Again, so appreciated and needed throughout this whole process.
Something that I do need to tell you that previously I have not talked about is that there is a second smaller tumour that is more embedded in the brain. We have known about it since the summer when Owen had his earlier scans but the surgeon has never shown too much concern over it. Now that we know that the main tumour was not cancer we can relax a little about this second one, however it is still there and does still need your ongoing prayers...please!
The main tumour has been there for years and years it seems, perhaps even since Owen was born, and it has only now decided to make itself known, so if this is anything to go by then we may have years before the second tumour is any cause for concern, if it grows at a similar rate. If/when it comes to it, it would not be able to be operated on due to it's position and so Owen would have to go through chemotherapy and radiotherapy.
So here's where your prayers are needed! We need a miracle! We need the second tumour to disappear please!
Owen will have another scan in 3 months time, and then every 6 months after that to monitor what's going on. So we're praying that when we come to one of these scans it is just not there anymore!
Needless to say that the story is far from over! We definitely feel a sense of relief at the operation being over, in knowing we can start to live more normally again, but God is not finished with this story yet. I've no doubt that there's more for us to learn, more opportunities to speak of all that He's doing in us and in this situation, and more chances for people to be encouraged by their answered prayers when we update you.
The Sunday after the operation I took Quinn and Jonah to church while Owen rested at home. We sang Oceans (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FBJJJkiRukY) and it so described where I was at. At that point I was feeling broken, exhausted and fearful of the results of the biopsy of the tumour. We sang this song and I cried. As I listen to it now as I write I'm crying again. It's just as relevant now as it was two and half weeks ago, only now I'm not fearful. I'm not scared of the next chapter. As the song says,
Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior.
I'm ready to say yes to whatever God has for us next. If that is a miracle I'm excited for it, if it's to face chemo and radiotherapy I know my God will lead us through and help us to 'walk upon the waters.'.
If you're wondering about God and suffering, and how we trust him despite our circumstances, I'm not going to say it's easy but equally I can tell you that we absolutely could not have gotten through this with out the assurance of His love and the peace that passes all understanding and the knowledge that the creator of the universe was working in the situation to bring the best outcome. He did not give Owen the tumour, but He has brought about the best case scenario following a very serious operation. He has helped us to keep our eyes above the waves, to keep them fixed on the Lighthouse and to stay strong as a couple and a family.
I may write a post in the future about the week leading up to the operation and the days around the operation itself, but I think I need a bit of time before I come to that!
You never know, Owen may even write one himself to tell you a little bit from his perspective!
Thank you again for your love and prayers.
Much love and Blessings
Rachael xx
Oceans (Where Feet May Fail) lyrics © Capitol Christian Music Group
Songwriters: Joel Houston / Matt Crocker / Salomon Lighthelm
